Ballookey

I’m currently reading Wil Wheaton’s ‘Memories of the Future‘ (available at lulu.com) and am deeply conflicted about it. A little more than half way through, I’m increasingly annoyed at a stupid comments Wil makes in his narrative.

Page after page, Wil writes hilarious and snarky commentaries about the first half of the first season of Star Trek TNG. There’s a humorous and slightly fictionalized synopsis of each episode, specific memories of the shoot, and a final grading of the episode.

While the snark is funny and frequently has me laughing out loud and reading passages to my husband, Wil exclusively references the female characters and cast members in juvenille sexual comments. Sure Denise Crosby looked hot in her uniform, I don’t doubt. But several times Wil has commended his fellow actors for their performances given the absolutely shitty-ass scripts and douche-chill inducing scenarios they were given. To the point, in fact, that it’s kind of embarrassing. Like seriously, dude, they weren’t THAT great yet. Not once yet however, in over half the book has he had a single similar complement for the actresses, who also labored to bring shallow one-dimensional characters to life with depth and personality.*

The actresses and female characters are limited to the level of appreciation Beavis and Butthead would feel. Well perhaps this is his message. Perhaps he truly feels that Marina Sirtis, Denise Crosby, and Gates McFadden are utterly without merit. Perhaps they actually brought nothing to the production and the boiled hot mess that was Wesley Crusher’s character would have been made of the proverbial awesome if only it weren’t for these meddling bitches. Maybe I should get a clue, read between the lines. Perhaps this is the untold Behind The Trek.

It’s not surprising that a 14-year-old Wil Wheaton would only see these women as window dressing if that’s all the writers of the show gave them to work with, but thirty-something Wil seems blind to his own objectifying. On one page he suggests that Counselor Troi and Dr. Crusher—both theoretically professional women with hard-earned credentials, and higher education—could only plausibly find themselves naked if a scene with male cast members were to play out realistically. In the same paragraph, he suggests that Captain Picard should have instructed everyone on the Enterprise to imagine the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders in a big pillowfight.

Funny? Maybe. A little tiring after 60-odd pages of unrelenting sexism, but whatever.

On the next page however, in a paragraph exactly opposite the aforementioned, Wil complains that the entire first season’s bevy of directors never treated him like human being, a professional actor, rather than an object of set dressing to be moved around.

That, Alanis Morissette, is ironic. And Wesley Crusher-level fucking annoying. Why would he expect any better treatment from the writers than he himself is capable of delivering? He’s trying to tell us he’s the victim here, victim of lousy writing and bad direction. I’m fairly certain that’s true, but seriously, he has to share some blame for being a clueless git too.

Look, we’re all nerds here. Are we all nerds here? Science fiction is all about men not getting sexuality right and fantasizing right past all their awkwardness. There’s plenty of history of sexism in science fiction. But apparently in the intervening decades of buying the entire nerd/geek kit, and collecting all his box tops and trading them in for even more nerd/geek cred, Wil Wheaton has utterly failed to learn that women are more than boobs and camel toe.

The running thread of sexism and lack of respect for the actresses is disrupting what would otherwise be a hilarious, if light, read. It’s a great companion book to the series that any true fan should enjoy—unless they respect women in the slightest, in which case they’ll find themselves cringing and wincing at a rate of once every other page.

*In all fairness, he may well correct-course in the last half of the book. I haven’t finished it yet. All I know is, I didn’t hate Wesley when I first watched the show, but this book ensures that he’s damn unlikable.